This epidemic can not be contributed to a lack of competency based on sex, age, or even your glasses prescription. This problem is, again, due to a lack of common sense.
Here's the question of the day: If there are 5 marked parking spots in a lot, how many cars can we fit?
The Ithaca answer: 2
Common Sense answer: 5
Ambitious answer: 6-8
One of these, clearly, does not fit.
Even the parking and traffic services has caught on to how bad parking really gets that they started up extra early today to clear the parking spaces. The 400 available parking spots becomes 300 when people forget the basic skill we learned in kindergarten called "staying in the lines!!!!"
How can we avoid being idiots and wasting valuable parking that should be guaranteed for seniors and banned from freshman who live on campus anyways?
Step 1: Drive with you eyes open. Sometimes, it's necessary to use your windshield wipers.
Step 2: Look for the white lines that are (gasp) still there, even when there is snow on the ground! We don't live in the land of Make Believe where people fly out of no where and if we close our eyes, everything disappears or doesn't exist because we can't see it.
Step 3: Assume. Yes, I said assume. Assume there is an acceptable distance between cars to park.
Step 4: Leave approximately 1-1 1/2 feet between you and the next vehicle. Take your time, we can wait an extra two seconds for you to use your brain a little.
Helpful tips:
1. Once you have parked, open your door. Does it open all the way?-- too much. fix it.
2. Look at stable landmarks or buildings. Are you crooked? Yes?-- too much. fix it.
3. Do you get a larger percentage of stares than usual when you exit or reenter your vehicle?-- too much. fix it.
That's all for now.
Good luck and Good Riddance
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